One of the biggest decisions we have in life is to keep fighting or walk away. That is true, but what is also true is you can do both at once.
See, I have always known love to be anything but easy. There is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Being in love with someone is the most glorious and happiest times in human life. It is the parties, the romantic kisses in the rain, the flowers on your doorstep, the “goals” we all want to be. Loving someone, though, is everything past that. Loving someone means loving their flaws, their time, the way their bathroom is always dirty. Loving someone is all the pain they put you through because two humans will not always work well together. Loving someone sometimes means trading in the expensive dinner dates for a trip together to the grocery store.
What happens a lot of the times is two people cannot get past falling in love. It happens too often; they fall in love and then walk away. For it to really work, you must fall in love with infatuation, keep falling, and then love someone.
Timing has the funniest way of playing games in our lives. In my personal life, the sun and moon cannot seem to align and the stars shine a little brighter every other night. What I mean by that- my timing is never just right. Neither is his.
It is really really hard to love someone at the wrong time. You fight for love when the opposing side is actually just a blank void. You cannot love someone if they do not have a base. Try to love someone who does not have a base, and you will fall apart. Love is two sided- and one side can’t build the other sides base for them. Each person in a relationship must be stable enough mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually for a successful relationship. If one of these categories is failing or non existent in a person, I am sorry, but the relationship will more than likely fall apart.
However, if your partner is struggling in one of these categories, that does not mean the relationship won’t work. It just means you need to work for the relationship. This goes back to loving someone and being in love with someone. If you really loved someone and wanted it to work, don’t give up on them. That goes back to whether you should keep fighting or walk away- or do both. See, sometimes, the timing just isn’t right, and the other person is struggling in one of those 4 categories at the time. Sadly, in order for them to work through it, you might have to walk away. But, by walking away- you are fighting for it.
We cannot heal or fix other people. Only you can heal yourself. People need time to distance themselves, work on their own issues, and come back stronger than ever. Understand this. Understand that no matter how much you think you can help a person, only they can help themselves. Walk away. Let your person heal. Let them strengthen their 4 categories when one or more is failing. They will come back to you when they are ready.
Do not give up on someone because they are not perfectly built. Love their flaws- each and every one. Love them through the hardest of times. Love them more when they come racing back into your arms. Love someone always. Love them when they need time to heal.
“[Love,] It’s wonderful, inspiring, breathtaking. Or rather, it’s a whirlwind of emotions. Where the wonder & awe bleed into & merge with the disheartening longing, utter belief that you could not for a second touch that with you so desperately struggle & grasp for & an inability to even breath in the moments you’re interacting with them.
When something makes you feel anything, it’s something amazing. Regardless if it’s a fervent concoction of the greatest good & the saddest sad. The experience of meeting such a person, who can spark such thoughts & feeling, is a genuine rarity.”
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Love Always, Rosie.