Although I know this is something you may never read, I believe I must write this to you anyway.
Being away from home has changed me, a lot. I am learning to live with myself, grow along side my friends, and manage my time well enough to balance sleep, studying, and remembering to eat. I get my laundry done and wash my sheets once a week. I have kept my room clean and do my dishes. I remember to clean my coffee maker every so often.
All of these things were things you taught me how to do. Living at home with you was an endless learning lesson. Every year leading up to the year I moved out, I watched you balance everything to keep our home running. I watched you get the dishes done, do the laundry, make dinner and pay the bills, plus more, all in one day. You were the one I watched every minute of the day. I learned everything of who I am from you.
You are the most remarkable woman. I miss sitting at the table with our cups of coffee and talking for hours about everything in the world. We talked about politics, the rights and wrongs of the happenings in the world, we talked about everything from the Pope to what I want to do with my life. I miss laying in your bed with bowls of ice cream and watching your favorite crime shows. I miss waking up and seeing your reminder notes in the kitchen that were always signed “Peas and thank you, love Mom.” I miss traveling this big world with you by my side. You have a humor only special people have the privilege of understanding. You have the biggest heart, one mine could never measure up to.
I am sorry I do not call you and dad more often. Our lives are all on different schedules. We are all growing up and living our lives. I hope dad is still watching tv and eating too much ice cream at night. I hope you are still taking your mid morning naps. You two were the people who showed me how to love someone, regardless of their flaws. You showed me how to love someone with your whole heart without loosing sight of who you are. You two taught me how to fight for some things, and let the others go. You taught me how to build a healthy family. You two especially taught me the most important lesson: balance.
Thank you. Thank you for continuing to give me so much even though I am not there to give back. Thank you for taking time to call me asking if I might like this shirt or if I need a new jacket. Thank you for thinking of me.
But overall, thank you for everything since day one. We had some horrible fights and at times I wished I did not belong to you. I take that all back now. With this thank you, I am also apologizing for being a bad kid at times. I am sorry I could not see how much you were giving me when I did not deserve any of it. Thank you for letting me go, find myself and make my own decisions. You have watched me fail over and over again. You have watched me make mistakes that could have easily been prevented if I had just listened to you. You gave me advice for everything, and even though I sometimes did not take it, you never stopped. You persevered though my hardest times. You welcomed me back every time I failed trying to be something.
Thank you for the unconditional love. I am soaring here at college, and bless you for watching me spread my wings. I could not imagine who I would be today without have the strong backbone you taught me to have. This may be the beginning of my life without your roof over me but I will always come back to the house that built me. I owe everything to you and there will never be enough of this universe to give back to you what you have endlessly gave to me.
You are my best friend, Mom.
“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
― Washington Irving