First off, thank you to all those who have blessed me with a welcoming “Happy Birthday.” It was so heartwarming to wake up to what felt like, a million texts and snaps and facebook messages. I am truly feeling loved today.
I can’t believe how beautiful the day is, I feel blessed that my birthday could be spent with the sun shining and my friends all around me.
I am not religious, but I do believe He is with me through this all. I genuinely feel like this is what it feels like to be blessed.
Life is so beautiful.
I have some wild nights and cooling days here at college. They balance each other out, but I couldn’t do it without my amazing group of people by my side. Coming to college, I thought it would be just as shitty at high school was.
I was wrong.
I have not only found people on this Earth that love and care about me, but I have truly found who I am, too. I no longer feel lost and stuck in the motions. I am not living anymore to fill some void I thought would make me whole. I am simply living, and that has made me whole.
I turned 19 today! People say that 19 is nothing special, and in some way it’s not. I mean, I am still an adult and I still cannot legally drink, so what’s the big hoopla? For me, this is the first birthday I will not spend under my parents roof. From this point on, my birthday will be spent wherever the hell I am living at the time. This is the first birthday of me moving on. Sure, I’ll go see my family on my birthday’s – I mean, THEY ARE MY FAMILY and they are amazing and I miss them all the time. But, for the next 3 years, my birthday will be at college, and then after that, my birthday will be in my first home with my first real job, and so on and so on. For 18 years, I celebrated under the wing of my parents. Now, this birthday and all the birthdays after 19 will be spent growing up, finding my own place in this world.
19 is the first firsts of many, not just another.
Maybe it’s hard to understand. It is hard to put into words. But, 19 is not just another year. 19 is something special.
As I go through the day, I can’t help but smile. It is all just so good. Driving today, the radio seemed to play just the right songs. I was singing at the top of my lungs, just filled with joy. People in the cars next to me were like ????? But I was just so happy! And I walk outside, and the light of the day brings me warmth and fullness.
Thank you to everyone who has sent me their love today. Thank you to my sister for the amazing card. Thank you to Josie and Mom and Dad for the lovely gifts. Thank you to my family members for the texts and cards. Thank you God for this day.
This week has been hard, and each time I tried to blog, nothing came to me. My head is a bit tied up with stress and school, so this week I took a little break off writing. Maybe next week something will spark my soul and I will feel inspired to write again.
With this, I hope you all have just as good days.