The past few days have been dreadfully tiring for me. I haven’t even been doing much, but I think that is why they were so difficult. Focusing on homework has been a struggle, sleeping enough has been thrown out the window, and overall, I guess I haven’t been true about where my head is. The whole world comes crashing down when you do not love yourself. I have begun to look less into full body mirrors because I can spend hours picking out the physically
The whole world comes crashing down when you do not love yourself. I have begun to look less into full body mirrors because I can spend hours picking out the physical flaws my body was blessed with. Those flaws, I have to realize, are who I am. This is who I am. Somedays are much easier than others. Somedays I am proud as HELL to be me. I could represent girl power will all the self-love I can radiate. Other days are the complete opposite. There are days I cannot leave the bed. I can’t fathom the idea of attending class. Those days are the worst, and they’ve been happening a lot lately.
Today, something special changed. I woke up early to get to an 8 am meeting with my co-op teacher in Ellsworth, WI. I wore a pretty outfit and did my makeup, and I felt good again. As I was driving the sun was peeping over the horizon. The sky was clear. The radio was playing music that filled the air with positive vibes. The whole morning, I felt me again. I realized that I feel better when I get up early and not lay in bed until 10 minutes before my class. I feel better when I complete an outfit and look in the mirror and think, hell ya.
I am not perfect, and I never will be. Neither will you. One thing I realized that I do that I shouldn’t do, is looking at pictures of hot hot hot girls on social media. Those girls are so perfect, with perfect lives and perfect meals and perfect boyfriends. I feel like my life is completely less as successful as theirs. I have been running with the idea of deactivating my social media accounts. Not for some grand reason or anything. I just feel like I do not need them in life anymore. I don’t really need to see everyone’s pictures of their perfect lives, and I don’t need 200 likes on my picture to justify that I went outside and did something. Life could be appreciated a lot more if we lived life to live life for ourselves, and not to post a picture of what we do so we can show to people. How often do you meet a friend without posting a picture online? I think meeting a friend for coffee and not posting a picture is more sentimental because that moment you two shared is only between you two, and not the 1,000 followers you have as well.
I could walk through life without social media and be much more at peace with myself, and Earth and my relationships. I want to dedicate more of myself invested in my relationships with people. I want to be a person that lives for others and radiates so much self-love that the birds would be jealous. I think this is the beginning of something new for me. I am excited to see where it goes, and where it takes me altogether.
Life is nothing if you do not love it. I am tired of living everyday with hate filling my blood and anger spewed from my mouth. It is time to spill happiness into others and spend more time in confidence of myself, and dedicating time to those I love. It’s time, my friends.