Your ideologies and routines shape who you are. No longer do you live with your parent’s Republican views, no longer are your routines easy and coming home from a brief work shift to a dinner of Kings, no longer are your meals…. dinners for Kings. I learned that one bag of kale, eggs, and apples go a long way for me… and basically, make up all of my meals.
No one is there to discipline you. And self-discipline is hard. Your parent’s 11 PM curfew no longer attains to you… so drinking until the sunrise always seems like a good idea, because how could it not? Except the thing is… it is not a good idea. Booze, beer, chasers, drunkchies… those calories add up fast and before you know it, your 20’s become a tidal wave of, “where did this weight come from?”
Love is more fun. Your 20’s are a lot of things but the most fun is falling in love. Life begins to rotate less around your parent’s expectations once you move out. Sleepovers with your partner are no longer “hidden” nights away from your parents. Sleepovers suddenly become casual, and waking up to who makes the coffee is always a fun little game.
But the fun stops where the money starts. I don’t want to make moving out of your parent’s home sound like a magical weekend getaway with grapes and endless champagne and parties every night because it’s not. The real facts begin to set in when your entire paycheck goes into paying rent and food, and no longer do you have an extra $30 to spend going out or to buy new items of clothing. Life was easier living with my parents because I didn’t have to spend the $400 I need for rent each month, so easily, I was better set with money. And “free spending” could happen a lot more.
Anxiety is real. I have never had more anxiety than the day I moved out of from my parents. Anxiety over payments, doctor appointments, seeing family members, calling this person, answering this email… all of this shit becomes a sudden anxiety cloud looming over your head at all times of the day.
Friends aren’t forver… and sometimes, that’s a good thing. I don’t talk to anyone from Hastings. I no longer feel compelled to compete over who’s prettiest and who’s wearing what or who is dating who. Moving into a new town is interesting and heartbreaking because for a long time, you are very alone. But it gets better.. and even better. Eventually, you have a place to go on Friday nights and a trip to the co-op is never complete without seeing someone a familiar face.
My roommates were random, but they’re my friends. It is never a Saturday morning in my house without a cup of coffee and a story to hear. I may never see my roommates ever again after this summer, but for this time in my life, they’ve been supportive and just the laugh I need, when I need it. And maybe this goes further to say that the people in your life at this moment are supposed to be here, for special reasons… to help you with whatever you need. Life happens in phases. People phase in and our of your life, but at the right time and for the right reason.
Seeing dogs becomes even more special.
Life moves really fast. Don’t wait. Do all things possible and make a messier life for yourself. Life wasn’t meant to be lived safely. Take chances, grab a bus to Chicago, eat some Kale, drink too much too often, abruptly quit a stupid job. Life is magnificent, and it can be so much better if you release your fears of living safely.